Purpose Of Life

It feels like the question I get most of the time right now, and yeah most of the time I say it's good but well as some of you know it really ain't. Lack of work is starting to get very annoying and to not be able to feel comfertable but allways anxious about bills and stuff is very depressing. I'm starting to wonder when this bad time is finally going to turn so I can start getting on with my life and getting a job and getting money is the hardest but the most important step on that road. I'm starting to feel empty, not really pumped to do anything atm and my home is really starting to feel empty and lonely. Well I guess it's just not my time for a good time right now but I hope it won't take to much time for it to be here even for me.

I really thought wind had turned to the better for a while now but once again it strikes back and I sit here again exactly as a couple of weeks ago. I realise it's going to be a rough summer once again, with very little money and probably having to spend it at home as usual. I wonder if I could get some good news soon so that this bad time could disappear for maybe a week or something, I want to work, I want money so I can start to live a normal life without having to think 3 times before I do something. I allways have to think 2 moths ahead because of the lack of money and even though it's good to learn theese things i'm starting to hate it. It seems life isn't supposed to be fair atm and who am I to blame? I guess only myself since i'm the only one who can control it...

So yet another sunday and it feels, well not good but not bad either I guess. I have got to work a lot more this week and i'm very glad for that, it was a great boost in the oterwise so lazy days. On friday I worked at the live performance by The Hives, even though they're not my favorite band I really liked the show and I must say that beeing called one of the greatest livebands in the world is not a understatement, such energy and contact with the crowd is not something that comes easily. Yesterday really didn't start good at work, an hour before I was supposed to start my boss called and said that we had to go and get icecubes from other local clubs since one of our machines was broken and as you might guess, no ice = no good drinks. The troubles didn't end there i'm afraid, we soon realised that we might be out of both milk and sweet & sour mix but fortunetly we managed to somehow make it through the night even though we had limited resources. I was home around 5:30am and fell asleep maybe around 6.

Today has just been a lazy day, I visited work and chated for a while and then went to pick up my car to get home again to lay down for a while again. Tonight is just gonna be lazy and watch some movie and perhaps a "early" bedtime, we'll se about that.

I've just finished watching this weeks episode of House and I can't really say how to feel about it. The episode is about a man whom just right out of the blue starts talking about everything that's on his mind, his wife is especially scared to hear about his thoughts and all the things he has kept from her all theese years. Now everyones thinking "oh he cheated on his wife" but no, instead it was about things as he had lied about voting in the presidential election, thinking she isn't the brightest mind in the world and that she could cut him some slack now that he's sick. All theese things aren't big things when you hear them maybe but for a person to hear this that she thinks/knows loves her for whom she is and for what they have and then suddenly hear the thoughts out loud makes the relationship seem like a lie. This made me think a little bit for myself, maybe there is something as a "perfect relationship" I don't know but maybe some relationships have white lies in them that of course shouldn't be about breaking the true trust in the relationship. I don't know, it's so hard to explain it in terms that tells everything since I personally think that trust should be the main thing in a relationship but all this made me start thinking about  it all. Please comment and share your thoughts about it!

God morning! Haven't slept much, the cough kept me awake for quite some time before I could finally get to sleep. When I woke up jess ad texted me and said that she wasn't going to set the alarm but asked me to wake her up when I was going to start washing so I called her 10 minutes ago and I think that she regretted it the moment she woke up because she didn't seem very happy or in the mood to get out of bed so I guess she'll sleep another hour or two. Well tomorrow is the Volbeat concert and i'm still sick so I guess it's going to be pills, tea, sandwiches and the sofa AGAIN today! I really hate just laying in bed doing nothing but I can't be like this tomorrow at work since it will be so much to do and so much running around so hopefully i'll get better today nad be able to work at 100% tomorrow.

Well it's time to get some tea, lay down in the sofa and watch some Lie To Me.

Cya!

Well I don't know why I keep wondering,  why is it such a problem?
I know I this is something that wont be solved in an instant so why keep nagging it so much?
I say it doesn't bother me but right now when i'm sick and just laying in the sofa it hurts
The feeling of..nothing...it's just empty.... why can't I just relax and try to get better?
Cause we need the feeling of beeing taken care of, someone that cares, that's by your side
And I don't know why,  I know that there are people caring so why aint it enough?

So I feel I have to update you on the yesterday at first of course so well Robin came over and we watched Valkyrie at first witch was kind of OK but well not really what I had expected so a bit of disappointment there i'm afraid. After Valkyrie we watched some Big Bang Theory episodes at first and then we rounded up the evening with a typical teenage/road movie called Sex Drive witch was truly hilarious even though there are so many movies pretty similar to it! When Robin had left I watched some more Big Bang Theory episodes before the eyes finally couldn't keep open anymore.


So today I helped my mum with some shopping for her work and since i'm having a really bad cough right now I didn't go swimming today even though I promised myself I would so I better be good til next week so I can really start getting som exercise again. I really thought this was going to be a typical alone friday night but Marie came to the rescue after her practice so we watched Så Ska Det Låta and Lets Dance (not my favorite shows though) and then we watched some of the Vin Diesel movie The Pacifier. When Marie had left they showed a repeat airing of this weeks RAW Comedy Club and it felt a little wierd watching it when Jess is not around since we try to watch it together and kind of make it a tradition but we have to watch it on Monday, Jess! Well it's time to watch some more Big Bang Theory episodes and then get some sleep. Work tomorrow, we'll se how that goes with my cold but i'm sure it'll be fine!

Cya!

First of all i've got to apologise for the lack of updates, i'll try to better myself on that.

So yesterday was the night of the oscars so Jessica came over and we ate some pork filet with potatoes and I think it turned out quite good. We had loaded up with candy, soda, crisps, popcorn and of course Jessicas healthy snacks ;-) The red carpet cermony started around midnight and of course we started to judge everyone because of what they were wearing and how they acted in front of the camera. Jessica had a little bit of trouble with her stomach so she didn't eat much of the candy but I can't really say that I was sad about it :P I think I speak for both of us when I say that this was the best Oscar Awards ever and Hugh Jackman was such a great host this year! I think the new concept of the awards was a good change, it felt like the cermony really needed a face-lift and they really did a good job this year! The cermony ended around 6am and I think we fell asleep quite soon after that. Today is gonna be a really lazy day since I got up around 12 so it's not gonna be long before I feel tired again so i'm not gonna be doing very much today.

Update: Jessica won our little Oscar contest so I owe her a Noblesse box, even though she has been so mean today that she doesn't really deserve it ;P


How was your weekend?

I don't really know why I can't sleep, I just can't relax and just lay my head down on the pillow.

Anyway while i'm up I can tell you that I was at a job interview the day before yesterday  (tuesday) and it went really well so i'm 99% sure that I will get it =) it's at a restaurant just outside Karlstad so it will require that I use the car but I mean it's so nice out there so I don't really care.

Right now i'm listening to a great song from Linkin Park that's called Somwhere I Belong and right now it feels like a very good song of choice since in some of my thoughts I really wonder, where do I belong?