Two Days Update

So I feel I have to update you on the yesterday at first of course so well Robin came over and we watched Valkyrie at first witch was kind of OK but well not really what I had expected so a bit of disappointment there i'm afraid. After Valkyrie we watched some Big Bang Theory episodes at first and then we rounded up the evening with a typical teenage/road movie called Sex Drive witch was truly hilarious even though there are so many movies pretty similar to it! When Robin had left I watched some more Big Bang Theory episodes before the eyes finally couldn't keep open anymore.


So today I helped my mum with some shopping for her work and since i'm having a really bad cough right now I didn't go swimming today even though I promised myself I would so I better be good til next week so I can really start getting som exercise again. I really thought this was going to be a typical alone friday night but Marie came to the rescue after her practice so we watched Så Ska Det Låta and Lets Dance (not my favorite shows though) and then we watched some of the Vin Diesel movie The Pacifier. When Marie had left they showed a repeat airing of this weeks RAW Comedy Club and it felt a little wierd watching it when Jess is not around since we try to watch it together and kind of make it a tradition but we have to watch it on Monday, Jess! Well it's time to watch some more Big Bang Theory episodes and then get some sleep. Work tomorrow, we'll se how that goes with my cold but i'm sure it'll be fine!

Cya!

Night Of The Oscars

First of all i've got to apologise for the lack of updates, i'll try to better myself on that.

So yesterday was the night of the oscars so Jessica came over and we ate some pork filet with potatoes and I think it turned out quite good. We had loaded up with candy, soda, crisps, popcorn and of course Jessicas healthy snacks ;-) The red carpet cermony started around midnight and of course we started to judge everyone because of what they were wearing and how they acted in front of the camera. Jessica had a little bit of trouble with her stomach so she didn't eat much of the candy but I can't really say that I was sad about it :P I think I speak for both of us when I say that this was the best Oscar Awards ever and Hugh Jackman was such a great host this year! I think the new concept of the awards was a good change, it felt like the cermony really needed a face-lift and they really did a good job this year! The cermony ended around 6am and I think we fell asleep quite soon after that. Today is gonna be a really lazy day since I got up around 12 so it's not gonna be long before I feel tired again so i'm not gonna be doing very much today.

Update: Jessica won our little Oscar contest so I owe her a Noblesse box, even though she has been so mean today that she doesn't really deserve it ;P


How was your weekend?

Sleepless

I don't really know why I can't sleep, I just can't relax and just lay my head down on the pillow.

Anyway while i'm up I can tell you that I was at a job interview the day before yesterday  (tuesday) and it went really well so i'm 99% sure that I will get it =) it's at a restaurant just outside Karlstad so it will require that I use the car but I mean it's so nice out there so I don't really care.

Right now i'm listening to a great song from Linkin Park that's called Somwhere I Belong and right now it feels like a very good song of choice since in some of my thoughts I really wonder, where do I belong?



We try our best to be nice to you and we offer you the thing you want the most

But instead you chase after something you know will hurt you deeply

You get hurt time after time and still you can't turn your back on it

And while you're taking the steps and fall we stand down here to catch you

We support you and help you up on your feet again

But in a matter of time you climb up to give it another try, only to fall again

It's hard for us to support you when we see you make the same mistake over and over

You say you know what will happen and still you do it

Sometimes I really wonder if you listen what we tell you

Or are we just supposed to stand by and watch you fall every time?

Maybe we're not as interesting as them?

Maybe we're to soft for you?

Maybe we just don't belong here right now?




Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Well a new week has begun and as I said yesterday I don't really have anything planned so I decided that I would do some laundry today and then maybe take a walk before going to Jessica and watch RAW Comedy later tonight. I look out and see the beautiful winter weather we have right now. I remeber last year when I was in the army we never had this much snow after I joined in January so I guess I should be lucky not to do it this year :D Well it's one hour til my laundry time starts so i'm just gonna sit here and listen to some calm music.


One song that really can take the bad things out of your mind for a while is this beautiful song




Have a wonderful day everyone!

Birthday x2

I'm sorry for the lack of updates recently and I don't really have an explanation for it so :P

Well as it says in the topic it was two birthday celebrations today! The first one was for my godchild Ida even if her real birthday is on tuesday we had the celebration today. I had bought her a nice silver necklace but you know kids, it was funny for 10 seconds and then she was off for the next present so what can you do. The other birthday celebration was for Jessica and she turns the big year of 21! We had dinner at a local restaurant and the nine of us had a really nice time! It was me, Marie, Sandra, Jessica, Johanna, Anders, Rebecca and Chrille. So a new week now and not really any plans so far, except i'm going to watch RAW with Jessica tomorrow but despite that the week seems very empty.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Peace

The Words. They Hurt

Some say that words hurt more than punches
The bruises go aways but words, they stay forever
It can take a long of time to make someone happy
But only a second to make someone sad
In the beginning the sadness could be the size of a small stone
But after a couple of years that stone has becoma a huge rock
Some words have gone through my mind for so long now
They are the words I fear to ever hear again

"I can be your friends but I can never be yours"



Another veeery long day

This day has so far been the slowest in  months, I woke up around 7 so I watched some CSI and Knight Rider and hoped I would fall asleep again but no I just couldnt relax and just sleep for maybe an hour more. I ate some breakfast and did some light training before watching some Scrubs and around 11 I went to work to see how everyone was. I found out that one of the cooks is at home with double sided pneumonia, he had to take the ambulance there because he coughed blood and was admitted for four days before he could go home, hope you'll get better soon man! Tonight they're going to show hockey at the projector screen at work so i'm gonna head over there to grab a beer and watch the game with some of the colleagues, hopefully we'll win and I wont get to drunk, haha!

Just to update you on some other stuff, i'm still waiting to get an aswer about work and i'm starting to have a bad feeling about it, I really need a job right now so I can start relaxing and get the anxiety of my chest. I'll maybe update when I get home tonight!

Long Time No See

Well I thought that I will start to use names of the people that are I meet in my life, it's much easier to explain when you use names even if it's not really important it also makes it easier for you to understand the big picture.


Well I woke up at 6:am the first time but I was so tired I just checked the watch and then fell asleep again and woke up again at 9:30 a little bit more rested so I decided to get my ass out of bed and take a shower. The morning was really slow, I don't know but it feels like the walls are getting closer every day, I want a job so I have something to do during the days instead of getting lazy at home! Did some light training at home and went shopping at the grocery for some base products and around 1:30pm went in to town to meet Linda, and old friend from junior high  that hadn't met for around half a year :S On the way I realised how beautiful it is now with all the snow on the rooftops and in the trees, it's quite sad we didn't have this weather on christmas. Well I met up with Linda at 2, we went to a café and just talked for around 3 hours, it felt like we had so much to talk about and it felt really good to catch up again after such a long time. Linda got a ride home to her place and I went home so now I don't really know what to do but I guess i'll do another training session and then make some dinner. Well talk to you later!!


Trust

How can I trust you if you don't tell me what you think?

How can I be with you knowing you might want something else?

How can I talk to you knowing that you might wanna talk to someone else?

I thought you could be honest and tell me what you want

Instead I hear it afterwards and how am I supposed to feel?

I can tell you that it doesn't feel good at all

Supposed To Go Away

I never thought it would last this long

The feeling of a stone laying on my chest


I try to focus on something else to make it go away


But just when I start to relax and start to think it's there again


Hopefully it will start to go away soon enough


Because it aint worh beeing bothered by it


It's just a silly thing stuck in my head

Double Thoughts

Just when I thought it was a closed chapter you start hinting again

I feel that the only way to take theese thoughts to an end is to talk about it


I know it may be the last time you'll ever trust me


But as you said yourself, you have to dare and take the chance sometimes


I just hope that it wont destroy what we have now...


I Should Just Let It Go

How much I even want it, I think it's next to impossible
I should've realised it from the start but I couldn't resist
The message was clear but I didn't want to see it
There is a wall around you and i'm not the one to pass it
I hoped you would realise that I wanted to get closer
But I see now that you had your thoughts elsewhere
I should've left my feelings behind, because deep inside I knew it
Now, I should just let it go...


Realise The Truth

It's quite hard when you start to realise something that has been there for so long
Why didn't I see it before? Why did I look away?Why didn't I try?
I know there's nothing to really think about but for me this is a missing piece
A piece I haven't gotten yet, that I haven't felt in my entire life

When I first see it in front of me I hesitate, I feel that if I take the step I might fall
Sometimes the piece will just go further away when I try to reach it
And sometimes it will go away before I dare take the step and grab it
I know i've got to take the step and be prepared to sacrifice something to get it
I've got to be prepared to fall and get hurt but as they say, it's a big part of it.

The piece, is love and love can't be spoken to or heard from
You have to try over and over again to the day when you feel that special connection
The problem is that sometimes the connection feels right but turns out wrong
Those are the times when you wished you weren't so vulnerable

I knew that I should've left my feelings somewhere far away this time
I did it in the beginning but for some reason I took them out again
I don't know why because nothing has really changed
Maybe it's just that I wont realise the truth
The truth that the bridge will never be lowered for me to get inside

The truth will probably never change and if it does, it will probably not matter anymore.



The Great Wall

It feels like you've built up a big wall around you
Not many people are allowed to pass it
Sometimes you lower it for people to see more of you
But the moment you feel uncomfertable you raise it again
I know I might have passed your wall a few times
It feels like when you realise it, you want control again and push me back
And I can't blame you, I know where the border is and I shouldn't pass it
You trust me and I don't want to hurt you since I care for you
I'll try not to adventure the trust you've given me
It's just to many things on my mind right now
And I just don't know where to start

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