Caring And Sharing...
I wonder sometimes why I even bother trying to help when the help isn't wanted or cared for.
I know that this is who I am and probably forever will be but sometimes I wish I was different.
I might not have many good answeres or ideas but sometimes I just want them to listen and think for one second.
Sometimes seeing something from another persons view can be very helpfull.
Hopefully I can stop trying to help the persons that really don't seem to want it and concentrate on going forward myself.
Maybe then I can finally start getting somewhere in my own life instead of hiding myself in others lives.
Dum spiro, spero
I know that this is who I am and probably forever will be but sometimes I wish I was different.
I might not have many good answeres or ideas but sometimes I just want them to listen and think for one second.
Sometimes seeing something from another persons view can be very helpfull.
Hopefully I can stop trying to help the persons that really don't seem to want it and concentrate on going forward myself.
Maybe then I can finally start getting somewhere in my own life instead of hiding myself in others lives.
Dum spiro, spero
"You Should Allways Be Honest, Nice And Polite"
Well at least that's what I learned when I was I kid. And although I know I haven't really been like that to 100% but I try the best I can. But now I realise that it's not totally but mostly just bullshit, the ones that are honest are those whom get "stepped on" and I think it's a lot of truth in that even though I don't want to see it that way. I've tried to be the nice, honest and polite person for so long now but it doesn't really seem to take me anywhere and when I see the people whom step on others feet just to get ahead no one is really judging them and saying that they are bad people because that's how society works. Society is in no need of people whom act like pets and want to get ahead by beeing honest, nice and polite because they won't win any fights, they'd rather have a wolf that fights and bites his/her way through life. Now I know that this might sound like I want to put the society in one black and one white zone but I know it doesn't work that way, it's filled with grey zones. I'm also not saying that the people that get ahead in life are bad people but most of them know that you really have to fight and break some toes on the way if you want to become something and it's good that they know how to be that way and I envy them for beeing able to do it, because I can't. It's not very different from the wildlife, the person that stands out and shows that nothing is going to stop him/her getting ahead in life is the animal that the others of it's kind show most interest in and want to be with. I guess my work here is picking up the broken heart pieces, slowly putting them together again and when it's done I send it back out and start picking up the next broken heart and well maybe it isn't so bad to help others but if it means i'm going to stand here on the same spot all my life, it doesn't really
feel worth doing sometimes.....
feel worth doing sometimes.....
Dum spiro, spero
"How are you?"
It feels like the question I get most of the time right now, and yeah most of the time I say it's good but well as some of you know it really ain't. Lack of work is starting to get very annoying and to not be able to feel comfertable but allways anxious about bills and stuff is very depressing. I'm starting to wonder when this bad time is finally going to turn so I can start getting on with my life and getting a job and getting money is the hardest but the most important step on that road. I'm starting to feel empty, not really pumped to do anything atm and my home is really starting to feel empty and lonely. Well I guess it's just not my time for a good time right now but I hope it won't take to much time for it to be here even for me.
Dum spiro, spero
Reaching But Not Far Enough
Sometimes I wonder why even bothering trying to reach it
It's clearly not close enough for me to grab it but still..
Still I keep thinking that maybe next time i'll be able to reach it
Reach the thing that's allways been so far away in the dark room
Everytime i've tried so far it has either gone away when I couldn't grab it
Or when i've waited for too long to get closer
I feel like it's time for it to come to me now, i'm tired of trying to reach time after time
The hand of warmth and comfort
Dum spiro, spero
It's clearly not close enough for me to grab it but still..
Still I keep thinking that maybe next time i'll be able to reach it
Reach the thing that's allways been so far away in the dark room
Everytime i've tried so far it has either gone away when I couldn't grab it
Or when i've waited for too long to get closer
I feel like it's time for it to come to me now, i'm tired of trying to reach time after time
The hand of warmth and comfort
Dum spiro, spero
Standing Beneath And Catching Them
All the time we stand on the ground looking at them at the top
We see them struggle to keep themselves up there
Finally they fall and that's when we try to catch them and help them get up to the top again
Sometimes it gets hard keeping up with helping them all as they fall
And it gets quite hard to put yourself through it every time
But I guess that's a thing you just have to learn how to handle
And hopefully there's someone to catch you when you finally fall
Because one day it will be too much for you to handle and you see yourself fall into darkness
Dum spiro, spero
We see them struggle to keep themselves up there
Finally they fall and that's when we try to catch them and help them get up to the top again
Sometimes it gets hard keeping up with helping them all as they fall
And it gets quite hard to put yourself through it every time
But I guess that's a thing you just have to learn how to handle
And hopefully there's someone to catch you when you finally fall
Because one day it will be too much for you to handle and you see yourself fall into darkness
Dum spiro, spero
The Wind Turned Again
I really thought wind had turned to the better for a while now but once again it strikes back and I sit here again exactly as a couple of weeks ago. I realise it's going to be a rough summer once again, with very little money and probably having to spend it at home as usual. I wonder if I could get some good news soon so that this bad time could disappear for maybe a week or something, I want to work, I want money so I can start to live a normal life without having to think 3 times before I do something. I allways have to think 2 moths ahead because of the lack of money and even though it's good to learn theese things i'm starting to hate it. It seems life isn't supposed to be fair atm and who am I to blame? I guess only myself since i'm the only one who can control it...
Nosce te ipsum!
Don't wish for to much
I know it aint possible to get anything you want
But sometimes I wonder what it would be like
To get something you want for once in your life
It feels like so many things keep going further away as time goes by
The hands are going away from me, my own starts to vanish
No longer can I just sit by and think that hope will come to me
If it hasn't so far, I guess I have to keep chasing it
I'm just tired of running after things that wont last for long
I wish now it would start to be easier but instead it's getting harder
When will I be able to look at the sun and not feel the stones in my chest?
When will I be able to finally sit down and feel that it's all going to be ok?
Dum spiro, spero
But sometimes I wonder what it would be like
To get something you want for once in your life
It feels like so many things keep going further away as time goes by
The hands are going away from me, my own starts to vanish
No longer can I just sit by and think that hope will come to me
If it hasn't so far, I guess I have to keep chasing it
I'm just tired of running after things that wont last for long
I wish now it would start to be easier but instead it's getting harder
When will I be able to look at the sun and not feel the stones in my chest?
When will I be able to finally sit down and feel that it's all going to be ok?
Dum spiro, spero
What is happening..
It feels like you think i'm going away
And just because of that, you have to do it to
I'm not gonna go away, i'm just trying to move on and continue
I don't know if this is the case, but this is the feeling I got when we talked last night
Even though you know I don't want to talk about it you still had to rub it on me
And I started wondering why, is it to prove a point?
Or is it just you trying to show me how you feel when i'm away?
You don't have to show me that because I know and I wish the best for you
But if you have to prove a point everytime i'm not around, it feels like the friendship is harshly tested...
And just because of that, you have to do it to
I'm not gonna go away, i'm just trying to move on and continue
I don't know if this is the case, but this is the feeling I got when we talked last night
Even though you know I don't want to talk about it you still had to rub it on me
And I started wondering why, is it to prove a point?
Or is it just you trying to show me how you feel when i'm away?
You don't have to show me that because I know and I wish the best for you
But if you have to prove a point everytime i'm not around, it feels like the friendship is harshly tested...
