The Calm Before The Storm
Yeah well I guess you could say it that way, it will be packed at the club tonight so there will be a lot of running and stress. It's
kind of a tradition to go and eat hamburgers after work but I think i'm going home instantly to get some sleep. Talked to an
old friend before and she's coming to the club tonight, met here just quickly about two weeks ago but i'll try to catch up what's
going on in her life, allways nice to meet old friends. Well what else, still no plans for tomorrow, might just a casual sunday
with a movie or something.
kind of a tradition to go and eat hamburgers after work but I think i'm going home instantly to get some sleep. Talked to an
old friend before and she's coming to the club tonight, met here just quickly about two weeks ago but i'll try to catch up what's
going on in her life, allways nice to meet old friends. Well what else, still no plans for tomorrow, might just a casual sunday
with a movie or something.
Take it easy and have a good night everyone!
A really slow day
Well the day seems to be going on forever and I feel that i'm getting more tired every hour so we'll se how it turns out tonight at work. Now it's time to get some lunch and what better than some wild seasoned meat with potatoes? I can allready feel the taste..*drewl* well but afterwards I really have to get out for a walk, otherwise it's going to be another bad lazy day...
What's happening out there?
What's happening out there?
The checklist
Get out of bed: [x]
Breakfast: [x]
Shower: [x]
Clothes: [x[
Do the dishes: [x]
Go for a "power walk": [ ]
Well that's my plan so far, feels like I have to do something more not to get bored here. Maybe it will be a long day in the sofa and then get to work? Sounds rather good actually. Since most people got their salary yesterday I think it's going to be packed at work tonight, drunk people everywhere with no common sense at all, just party til you drop or get kicked out. Well I guess I've got to take care of the dishes before going somewher.
Talk to you later!
Breakfast: [x]
Shower: [x]
Clothes: [x[
Do the dishes: [x]
Go for a "power walk": [ ]
Well that's my plan so far, feels like I have to do something more not to get bored here. Maybe it will be a long day in the sofa and then get to work? Sounds rather good actually. Since most people got their salary yesterday I think it's going to be packed at work tonight, drunk people everywhere with no common sense at all, just party til you drop or get kicked out. Well I guess I've got to take care of the dishes before going somewher.
Talk to you later!
Good morning
Well it's not really that good but how gives a crap. Today i felt like I was going to take a long walk in the beautiful snow but no, the snow is melting away and all that soon will be left is the grey bitter landscape we're used to in this country! Well life is to short to be angry so let's start with some bread and a coup of tea and we'll se how the day turns out.
Work tonight as usual, a local band will be playing in the Rockbar around midnight so I guess that means that we won't get out of there early but I guess that it's one of those saturdays when nothing will go my way until i'm home and asleep again. So what are you guys gonna to today?
Update later!
Work tonight as usual, a local band will be playing in the Rockbar around midnight so I guess that means that we won't get out of there early but I guess that it's one of those saturdays when nothing will go my way until i'm home and asleep again. So what are you guys gonna to today?
Update later!
Why can't I ever ask for it?
Well the dinner turned out as follows: pork fillet, potatoballs and mushroom sauce, it was soo good I almost ate the whole fillet but I saved some for tomorrow so I can enjoy it again, moaha! Sad that me and two friends didn't hang out tonight though but sometimes things change and it's nothing to be bothered with, next time it might be me that gets other plans. I feel a little bit bad though not inviting one of them who didn't really have any plans for tonight when she actually called me and we just talked. I mean how stupid can you get? I didn't have any plans either other than to cook a good meal and just sit in the sofa and I had the food so I could've just invited her but no I figure that out after I had been shopping some groceries and then she had only made up a plan for the evening. The worst thing is when I sit here now I feel a little bit alone but I only have myself to blame for that. Well time to get some sleep soon, just going to read the news and check around for a while.
Hope you all had a good friday evening =)
Goodnight!
Hope you all had a good friday evening =)
Goodnight!
Snow, snow and so much snow
Well what's happened today? I woke up around 11am, chated with some friends and then went to the optician andordered a new time for visual testings, might need some new better contacts, it feels like my left eye is getting worse and since it's allready worse than my right eye it doesn't feel good. On my way home I sat down on a bench by the river and just enjoyed the view of the snow laying everywhere, if it had been a little bit colder it would have been the best day this winter, however I guess it will all be gone tomorrow again. Well so now i'm sitting here again thinking about what could be good for dinner, I really feel a pizza would be nice right now but since I try not to eat so much crappy food at the moment I think it will be pork fillet with potatoes and tzatziki, I just looove tzatziki but I guess I will have to use the mushrooms I got from a friend as well at some point so we'll se what turns up on the dinner (sofa) table.
Have a good one!
Have a good one!
In the army we're all brothers!
Well I guess it's time to talk a little bit about my time in the army, I joined up as a connection soldier/driver at Skaraborgs Regemente (P4) in Skövde the 28 of January last year. It was supposed to be for 11 months but got cut down to 10 months. Well to start at the beginning, I was so unsure of what to think of it when we sat on the bus 8am that freezing morning, what is my platoon/company going to be like? Are the officers going to scream at us 24/7? How will it be to go up at 6 in the morning every day, put on a green uniform and go out learning how to act in war? The questions we're many and the closer we got to Skövde the more anxious I became. When we finally arrived we had to have our papers in order to show the security guards that we weren't civilians just wanting to sneak in, then we followed a colour trail towards the barrack where we were supposed to live most of the time for 10 months. We went up in the barrack and had to show 3 other officers our papers again so we could get our nametag and our military ID (used instead of the papers when going through security) and then told wich room we we're supposed to live in. When I came in there we're allready some people there and they told me that we we're supposed to read some documents regarding clothing rules and other rules that we had to know. After a while an officer came into the room and told us it was time to go grab our equipment from the storage, there was so many people there and it took us almost the whole day just getting everything! I tell you there was so much stuff and I was so afraid to lose something I was almost shaking when we had to do the inventory the same evening with the officers from our platoon.
The days afterwards we're tough, some left the first evening to other regiments where they we're short of people, some joined other companies and some felt that this wasn't the thing for them so they did everything to get home again. As the officers told us one night that we weren't going to remember how it was in the beginning, it's true, I can only remember bits and pieces from our first weeks like learning basic command words, walk correctly, wear the uniform correctly and of course the thing we hated the most, sew all the markings on the uniform. I can still remember sitting outside in the corridor at 2am with some of my fellow comrades sewing tha marks correctly and just so you know I was terrible at it especially the collars. I think it was the fourth or the fifth week when we went out for our first week in the field, by now we had learned how to use most of our equipment and the AK5. The week really tested our teamwork and of course when the pressure came on, our temper. The officers were jackasses from our point of view and as I actually admitted to my platoonchiefs when we had finished our time in the army, at that time I felt a hatred bigger than I had felt my entire life towards people. The weeks went on after that and we soon came to the most important week so far, the beret examination. I think everyone we're a little scared of how it was going to be, how much food are we going to get? How long are we going to walk? How strict is the examination going to be? The week before the examination I started to feel sick and on tuesday I was sent home with a fever and didn't return until the day before the examination was about to start. With a terrible cough and not really feeling to well I was on my way to tell my platoonchief that I wasn't fit enough to go through with the test but when we were told that we had to wait until the summer to take the test again I decided to give it my best shot anyway. I can tell you know when it's done that it was one of the most terrible weeks in my life. We we're searched two times for stuff that we weren't allowed to carry with us such as tobaco, anything eatable, cellphones, mp3s and some other stuff, the starting of the test was to run a distance of 10 kilometres with some equipment that we we're going to have during the examination. The run was quite a success despite having 3 sick people in our group, two of wich had fever, afterwards we hit the showers the last time for 4 days to come.
After the shower we suited up in our combat gear, filled the backpack after close instructions what we were allowed to bring and the extra equipment we had been given earlier. We gatherd outside the barracks, got our first destination, the time we were supposed to be there, a map, ONE meal to share in the group (6 people) and of course the all forsaken radio. I''m not going to get into details about the week but I can tell you there was a lot of walking, hunger, chafed feet and at some moments of hallucination (not so bad as it sounds) but we did get more time to sleep than I thought. The best moment was when the whole company got the order to run all together into the regiment area. All of us were exhausted but somehow most of us managed to squeze of the last drops of energy we had left to run the last 2 kilometres towards showers, beds, toilets and of course FOOOOD! The feeling when we were standing outside our barrack cannot be explained in words, we were so happy and the adrenaline rush took was so big I forgot I was even tired. The same evening we had our beret cermony, I can't describe the feeling when we were standing there and our companychief spoke about how proud he was and congratulated us of a examination well done! It was almost as graduating from college despite the knowledge that this was only the beginning, but for the first time we were now accepted as soldiers! The next week we started our idividual training for the duties we were going to have in the company wich for me was education in connection systems for four weeks and vehicle training for 4 weeks. The vehicle training was really fun except that I had to re-take the driverlicence tests. We were trained to drive with shielded lights, no lights and infrared goggles wich was quite hard but really fun. The connection "class" was really boring and I didn't really feel I got so much out of that except some standard rules in communication and the authority to handle the "top secret" papers with the codes for the radio.
After theese 8 weeks we had u summer break and when we returned it was time for combat training followed by shooting week and the worst week in my life, surviving week. The surviving week was not as hard as the beret examination but just sitting day in and day out barely doing anything and not have much food to eat was so boring and horrible. The weeks after contained companyexercise and functionalexercise wich was preparation for the big final batallionexercise wich mostly for me consisted of sitting in a warm tent listening to the other companies "battles" on the field. After the last exercise it was time for the most boring time of the army service, cleaning, washing and dusting EVERYTHING! It was the most boring time i've ever been through, just sitting down cleaning cables, engines, tents, tent boxes with material etc etc etc.... When it was finally time for the last and final week, wednesday was batallionparty wich I didn't go to since there was going to be so much people in the bars and clubs. Thursday however we had companyparty wich was so great! We rented a part of a nightclub in town and ate tacos, drank a lot and played some wierd games to end the night with more drinking and dancing. Friday we had to go up at 5 to hand over the last of our things like like bedclothes and locks. We got our grades from the officers on our platoon and then the company gathered to say a last goodbye to the officers and for some to recive special awards for different things they had done well during our service. Then the countdown started, we had lunch and afterwards went to the barracks for the last time and waited for the time to pass. When the time came for us to finally begin our last march out of the regiment area tears started to come from various directions, screams of joy, happy songs and of course company songs. The march starts, the adrenaline starts pumping, the chest feels like it's going to explode because of the heartbeat and finally the run starts, people screaming, one guy falls but noone cares, all they can see is the world outside the gates, the civilian darkness has come over us at last....
The days afterwards we're tough, some left the first evening to other regiments where they we're short of people, some joined other companies and some felt that this wasn't the thing for them so they did everything to get home again. As the officers told us one night that we weren't going to remember how it was in the beginning, it's true, I can only remember bits and pieces from our first weeks like learning basic command words, walk correctly, wear the uniform correctly and of course the thing we hated the most, sew all the markings on the uniform. I can still remember sitting outside in the corridor at 2am with some of my fellow comrades sewing tha marks correctly and just so you know I was terrible at it especially the collars. I think it was the fourth or the fifth week when we went out for our first week in the field, by now we had learned how to use most of our equipment and the AK5. The week really tested our teamwork and of course when the pressure came on, our temper. The officers were jackasses from our point of view and as I actually admitted to my platoonchiefs when we had finished our time in the army, at that time I felt a hatred bigger than I had felt my entire life towards people. The weeks went on after that and we soon came to the most important week so far, the beret examination. I think everyone we're a little scared of how it was going to be, how much food are we going to get? How long are we going to walk? How strict is the examination going to be? The week before the examination I started to feel sick and on tuesday I was sent home with a fever and didn't return until the day before the examination was about to start. With a terrible cough and not really feeling to well I was on my way to tell my platoonchief that I wasn't fit enough to go through with the test but when we were told that we had to wait until the summer to take the test again I decided to give it my best shot anyway. I can tell you know when it's done that it was one of the most terrible weeks in my life. We we're searched two times for stuff that we weren't allowed to carry with us such as tobaco, anything eatable, cellphones, mp3s and some other stuff, the starting of the test was to run a distance of 10 kilometres with some equipment that we we're going to have during the examination. The run was quite a success despite having 3 sick people in our group, two of wich had fever, afterwards we hit the showers the last time for 4 days to come.
After the shower we suited up in our combat gear, filled the backpack after close instructions what we were allowed to bring and the extra equipment we had been given earlier. We gatherd outside the barracks, got our first destination, the time we were supposed to be there, a map, ONE meal to share in the group (6 people) and of course the all forsaken radio. I''m not going to get into details about the week but I can tell you there was a lot of walking, hunger, chafed feet and at some moments of hallucination (not so bad as it sounds) but we did get more time to sleep than I thought. The best moment was when the whole company got the order to run all together into the regiment area. All of us were exhausted but somehow most of us managed to squeze of the last drops of energy we had left to run the last 2 kilometres towards showers, beds, toilets and of course FOOOOD! The feeling when we were standing outside our barrack cannot be explained in words, we were so happy and the adrenaline rush took was so big I forgot I was even tired. The same evening we had our beret cermony, I can't describe the feeling when we were standing there and our companychief spoke about how proud he was and congratulated us of a examination well done! It was almost as graduating from college despite the knowledge that this was only the beginning, but for the first time we were now accepted as soldiers! The next week we started our idividual training for the duties we were going to have in the company wich for me was education in connection systems for four weeks and vehicle training for 4 weeks. The vehicle training was really fun except that I had to re-take the driverlicence tests. We were trained to drive with shielded lights, no lights and infrared goggles wich was quite hard but really fun. The connection "class" was really boring and I didn't really feel I got so much out of that except some standard rules in communication and the authority to handle the "top secret" papers with the codes for the radio.
After theese 8 weeks we had u summer break and when we returned it was time for combat training followed by shooting week and the worst week in my life, surviving week. The surviving week was not as hard as the beret examination but just sitting day in and day out barely doing anything and not have much food to eat was so boring and horrible. The weeks after contained companyexercise and functionalexercise wich was preparation for the big final batallionexercise wich mostly for me consisted of sitting in a warm tent listening to the other companies "battles" on the field. After the last exercise it was time for the most boring time of the army service, cleaning, washing and dusting EVERYTHING! It was the most boring time i've ever been through, just sitting down cleaning cables, engines, tents, tent boxes with material etc etc etc.... When it was finally time for the last and final week, wednesday was batallionparty wich I didn't go to since there was going to be so much people in the bars and clubs. Thursday however we had companyparty wich was so great! We rented a part of a nightclub in town and ate tacos, drank a lot and played some wierd games to end the night with more drinking and dancing. Friday we had to go up at 5 to hand over the last of our things like like bedclothes and locks. We got our grades from the officers on our platoon and then the company gathered to say a last goodbye to the officers and for some to recive special awards for different things they had done well during our service. Then the countdown started, we had lunch and afterwards went to the barracks for the last time and waited for the time to pass. When the time came for us to finally begin our last march out of the regiment area tears started to come from various directions, screams of joy, happy songs and of course company songs. The march starts, the adrenaline starts pumping, the chest feels like it's going to explode because of the heartbeat and finally the run starts, people screaming, one guy falls but noone cares, all they can see is the world outside the gates, the civilian darkness has come over us at last....
The Dream
We are standing in the middle of the street
Her hands gently holding mine
She looks at the ground and then at me again
She gives me a little smile and I can't help but smile myself
The moon shining down on her cute and soft face
The stars reflecting in her pretty eyes
I raise my hand and gently fondle her cheek
She closes her eyes so I lean down and kiss her gently
We stand there minute after minute feeling there's nothing around us
I know from this moment, I never wanna let her go
Her hands gently holding mine
She looks at the ground and then at me again
She gives me a little smile and I can't help but smile myself
The moon shining down on her cute and soft face
The stars reflecting in her pretty eyes
I raise my hand and gently fondle her cheek
She closes her eyes so I lean down and kiss her gently
We stand there minute after minute feeling there's nothing around us
I know from this moment, I never wanna let her go
The Moonshine Lightens My Room
The darkness and silence lay dorm outside my window
Almost every window is dark and most people are asleep
When I look at the windows I start to think about everyting inside them
Because in every window there is another life different from my own
Lives with a different story, a different fate and a different past
One of them might become my future doctor
Another might become a future friend
And a third might become a future colleague
And that's what's so fun with the future
You never now what will happen next
Life is full with new suprises
Make sure you learn and take them with you in life
Because you never now when you might need them
Almost every window is dark and most people are asleep
When I look at the windows I start to think about everyting inside them
Because in every window there is another life different from my own
Lives with a different story, a different fate and a different past
One of them might become my future doctor
Another might become a future friend
And a third might become a future colleague
And that's what's so fun with the future
You never now what will happen next
Life is full with new suprises
Make sure you learn and take them with you in life
Because you never now when you might need them
President Of The World?
Millions of peple have followed the election
Millions of people were either there or watching it on tv
The judge speaks and the other man repeats
Just before the man says the last words it's a quick silence
Then a earnumbing cheer breaks out from millions of americans
Barach Obama is now officially the President of The United States Of America!
Millions of people were either there or watching it on tv
The judge speaks and the other man repeats
Just before the man says the last words it's a quick silence
Then a earnumbing cheer breaks out from millions of americans
Barach Obama is now officially the President of The United States Of America!
To Work Or Not To Work
I admit that I sometimes complain about work and I guess many people do it at some point but to be honest i''m really happy that I have it. As i've told you before I don't work much more than saturdays except when there's a big concert or some other big event and I know it isn't much but atleast it's good to have something right? So just to set things clear, I know I complain sometimes but inside i'm truly glad that i've got it, the colleagues are really nice and the atmosphere is almost allways really good when I come to work so i'm really grateful, thank you!
Well what happened today then, I got up around 11am and around 1pm one of my friends asked if she could come by for a while and that we could cook some food since she was going to the gym afterwards. So around 3pm she came here and I had allready prepared the meal so we ate and watched some Scrubs on tv having a good time. When she said that she was going to the gym I decided to go se my cousin across town and ask if I could take two of the kids bowling tomorrow and to see my godchild. On my way home I went in at work just to talk a little bit and ask if the bowling was ok and I got two more days of work next month so that was really nice.
Right now i'm thinking a little bit about what my life is going to look like this year, will it be a new fun year, a year of sadness and sorrow, or will it be an ordinary year were you just take yourself trought it without any big complications? Well I truly hope it's going to be a really fun year despite the problems at the moment but I feel that the wind will turn soon enough.
Today I will also take the time to thank my mother and sister for allways beeing there and supporting me, I know it may seem like i'm in deep trouble sometimes but if you just give me time I will try to set them right myself, I need to try for myself first and if it doesn't work I promise you i'll ask for help. Thanks for your patience and support and please continue with it because one day I might need it more than usually.
Well what happened today then, I got up around 11am and around 1pm one of my friends asked if she could come by for a while and that we could cook some food since she was going to the gym afterwards. So around 3pm she came here and I had allready prepared the meal so we ate and watched some Scrubs on tv having a good time. When she said that she was going to the gym I decided to go se my cousin across town and ask if I could take two of the kids bowling tomorrow and to see my godchild. On my way home I went in at work just to talk a little bit and ask if the bowling was ok and I got two more days of work next month so that was really nice.
Right now i'm thinking a little bit about what my life is going to look like this year, will it be a new fun year, a year of sadness and sorrow, or will it be an ordinary year were you just take yourself trought it without any big complications? Well I truly hope it's going to be a really fun year despite the problems at the moment but I feel that the wind will turn soon enough.
Today I will also take the time to thank my mother and sister for allways beeing there and supporting me, I know it may seem like i'm in deep trouble sometimes but if you just give me time I will try to set them right myself, I need to try for myself first and if it doesn't work I promise you i'll ask for help. Thanks for your patience and support and please continue with it because one day I might need it more than usually.
The days fly by.
Well the last 3 days have passed quite quickly, not much has happened though I try to do stuff all the time so that I don't get stuck at home just beeing lazy doing nothing. Yesterday I think I just got crazy since I took a "little walk" for 3 hours! I don't know what really flew into me but I just started walking with no real destination, just to make time go away so I walked and listened to some good music and well time just passed. I went to see one of my friends at work, she works at a hotel in town so I talked to her for a while and then went home so I think I was away for maybe 4 hours totally and in the evening I went to a friends place and we watched some tv til 10pm and then I went home again so mission accomplished the day just flew away. Today i've been to my mum with 2 pair of jeans that we're going to try and re-colour so that they don't look grey but black as they should and I went with another pair of jeans to one of mums friends so that she might be able to fix the sew that's bad. Well what else, yeah I went to the confirmation meeting ( I work free as a confirmation leader when i've got the time) to see how things are going for them and they are actually really god and pays attetion so i'm really proud of them. So when I got home I stopped by the supermarket and bought some crayfish, I don't know why but I was really feeling for it today so for dinner it was crayfish with some white bread, really good! Before the meeting I went for a walk with a friends, we talked a lot about the relationship with one of her friends that has become quite complicated, without to get into details she doesn't really know if she can trust him. One day he's really nice to her and gives her lot of attetion and the next day it's like she doesn't exist and I can see why that makes her fel sad. I can't give her a really good explanation since i've barely spoken to the guy myself but I guess it's like she says, it feels good to have some give their opinion as well sometimes. I wonder if guys talk about their relationship problems as openly as girls or do most of them keep it to themselves? I''ve met a lot of girls that talk about their problems with guys and as i've said before I don't know why they turn to me but if I can help maybe just a little or just be a support so that it turns out good I guess it feels quite good. I'm going to end this day with a poem that I just wrote..
When I meet her I can't help but smile
Just her precense makes me feel so good
Her laughter so energetic and happy you start laugh yourself
When her eyes meet mine I feel so warm inside I can barely keep eye contact
And no matter how bad I feel just talking to her makes me feel so much better
When I meet her I can't help but smile
Just her precense makes me feel so good
Her laughter so energetic and happy you start laugh yourself
When her eyes meet mine I feel so warm inside I can barely keep eye contact
And no matter how bad I feel just talking to her makes me feel so much better
Finally the weekend is here!
Yes it's that glorious time of the week when you don't feel so bad not to be out of a standard job, yes I do have a job but it's only one night a week but hell it beats not have ANYTHING. I feel a little bad though because one of my friends invited me to a movie night at her place with one of her friends but since i've gotta work I had to say no. However I will go and see them for an hour or so before I go to work and offer her friend to taste the pannacotta I made yesterday since my friend doesn't eat cream she can't taste it and she's going to regret it I tell you because it was sooo good! Well today I've been doing some more cleaing, dishing and washing here at home and it feels so good when it's over so now I can just relax for a couple of hours before I go to my friends place and after that to work at the nightclub. It feels a little bit depressing to work only on saturdays when most of my friends are either at home or out partying but work is work and as I don't have a lot of it I need to think about the money.
I called my father just a half an hour ago and well he didn't seem that okay i'm afraid. To give you a little background on it I can tell you that he got a stroke in March last year but it didn't go as bad as it could've so he was quite soon up on his feet and walking but wasn't allowed to work so he got sick-listed until the end of the year. On the 13th of November his mother passed away and although it was expected I think it was a terrible blow to the stomach for him and of course the rest of us as well but it seemed worse for him. A month later he got a second though smaller stroke and got numb in the right side of his body just as the first time as I forgot to mention, he didn't think much of it at first when the symptoms started to show but the day after when his arm started to feel numb he went to the hospital and they confirmed that it was a small stroke in the center of the brain but told they told him that there was nothing they could do because that he had waited to get to the hospital. So when I called him he told me that he had trouble walking because of ache in the left leg caused by the times he had fallen to the ground when he got his first stroke, I was a bit shocked because he hadn't told me this before but I felt that it wasn't time to argue about it since that's how he is, forgets things quite often but i'm quite used to it nowdays although other people think it's irresponsible and stuff like that but I don't care because you know what? I love my father very much even if he forgets birthdays and stuff like that becuase he is my father after all.
Be at peace
I called my father just a half an hour ago and well he didn't seem that okay i'm afraid. To give you a little background on it I can tell you that he got a stroke in March last year but it didn't go as bad as it could've so he was quite soon up on his feet and walking but wasn't allowed to work so he got sick-listed until the end of the year. On the 13th of November his mother passed away and although it was expected I think it was a terrible blow to the stomach for him and of course the rest of us as well but it seemed worse for him. A month later he got a second though smaller stroke and got numb in the right side of his body just as the first time as I forgot to mention, he didn't think much of it at first when the symptoms started to show but the day after when his arm started to feel numb he went to the hospital and they confirmed that it was a small stroke in the center of the brain but told they told him that there was nothing they could do because that he had waited to get to the hospital. So when I called him he told me that he had trouble walking because of ache in the left leg caused by the times he had fallen to the ground when he got his first stroke, I was a bit shocked because he hadn't told me this before but I felt that it wasn't time to argue about it since that's how he is, forgets things quite often but i'm quite used to it nowdays although other people think it's irresponsible and stuff like that but I don't care because you know what? I love my father very much even if he forgets birthdays and stuff like that becuase he is my father after all.
Be at peace
Past and present
Well here I am once more to talk a little bit of my past, I know it might be boring for some of you but I've got to explain for some of you how some of the things in my past has formed me into the person I am today. About 10 years ago my brother took his own life, it was a chock for all of us in the family, but I was in the part of my life where I don't think I really understood it or maybe didn't want to accept it and I remember sitting at the funeral, I didn't shed a single tear and I remember that it made me so angry. I was very sad of course but not one single tear came from my eyes, I was frustrated, why couldn't I show my emotions like the other people in the church? Now afterwards I think I know why, i've matured in my way of thinking and understand more what it really means, I can't show it all in just one moment, I need time to think it over in my head and as time goes on I think about it from time to time and it makes it easier to handle for some reason. I don't think it was until five years later that I was sitting by the lake and thought about it and the tears just wouldn't stop coming, all this time I had thought about it so much but just one evening it all came down on me like a big rock falling to your chest and the struggling for air. I still think about it, I need a couple of hours for myself sometimes so that I can gou through my past and present emotions, it might seem wierd but that's just the way I need to work with my feelings.
The same year around christmas my parents decided to file a divorce, it was the second chock the same year but once again I think my emotions were hid deep inside me, I wouldn't accept it until long after when I really realised that my dad wasn't going to live with us anymore although it was very empty without my father on christmas.
As you might understand this was a very sad and depressing time in my life, probably the worst year I'll ever experience in my life and the time after wasn't really easy either. The two years after were not the best either, new school, new classmates, new teachers but also new opportunities, just before we finished 5th grade we got two new students in school, one was a year older than me and his little brother a year younger. The older one was going to re-take 6th grade and he was going to be in the same class as me, he soon became a very good friend and through the years we have known eachother I can say that i'm really glad that I met him. When we started 7th grade it was again new classes and students from another school joined, I was very angry at first since I had gotten to know my 6th grade classmates so well. Either way there was nothing to do but accept it and some months in to 7th grade I had found out that one of the guys from another class was living just 300 feet from me, so we started to hang out and together with my friend from 6th grade we became really good friends so to this day I see them both as my non related brothers. We've went through some bad and stupid times together with other fellow friends but also some very good times, gladly we can often laugh about the bad and stupid times nowdays but some things remain that we'll never forget and feel bad about but it feels easier to share it with eachother so you don't have to carry it yourself.
Now we take a long jump ahead to the start of collage, I was really scared when we were going to start, none of my nearest friends were going to the same school as me, for the first time in many years I felt alone. I knew that an old football (soccer) friend was starting there as well so we took contact just before the semester started and agreed to stick together no matter what, I think he was as terrified as me. We came in the first day to find out wich class we were supposed to be in and I just remebered thinking that if I don't get in the same class as my friend I was going to do whatever it took to be in the same class as him so I would atleast know someone and gladly we were chosen to the same class. Now afterwards I can just laugh about it, the class was wonderful, I don't think I could've landed in a better class. I got a lot of new friends, especially five of them including the one I knew before we started and they are the closest friends I have to this day except my two "brothers" despite the fact that we have gone our own paths in life. One of them has recently bought a house with her boyfriend a couple of miles away from here but still works here, one has moved to a bigger city to live with her boyfriend, one has recently moved up north for season work at a restaurant, one has a 10 month old baby still living here with the remaining of us. We don't see eachother much, atleast not all together but we try to keep in contact so we don't split up to much. I still meet some of my other classmates and it's nice to see what roads they've take after we graduated though we don't keep in contact as much it's allways nice to see them once in awhile.
Well that's it for now!
Be at peace
The same year around christmas my parents decided to file a divorce, it was the second chock the same year but once again I think my emotions were hid deep inside me, I wouldn't accept it until long after when I really realised that my dad wasn't going to live with us anymore although it was very empty without my father on christmas.
As you might understand this was a very sad and depressing time in my life, probably the worst year I'll ever experience in my life and the time after wasn't really easy either. The two years after were not the best either, new school, new classmates, new teachers but also new opportunities, just before we finished 5th grade we got two new students in school, one was a year older than me and his little brother a year younger. The older one was going to re-take 6th grade and he was going to be in the same class as me, he soon became a very good friend and through the years we have known eachother I can say that i'm really glad that I met him. When we started 7th grade it was again new classes and students from another school joined, I was very angry at first since I had gotten to know my 6th grade classmates so well. Either way there was nothing to do but accept it and some months in to 7th grade I had found out that one of the guys from another class was living just 300 feet from me, so we started to hang out and together with my friend from 6th grade we became really good friends so to this day I see them both as my non related brothers. We've went through some bad and stupid times together with other fellow friends but also some very good times, gladly we can often laugh about the bad and stupid times nowdays but some things remain that we'll never forget and feel bad about but it feels easier to share it with eachother so you don't have to carry it yourself.
Now we take a long jump ahead to the start of collage, I was really scared when we were going to start, none of my nearest friends were going to the same school as me, for the first time in many years I felt alone. I knew that an old football (soccer) friend was starting there as well so we took contact just before the semester started and agreed to stick together no matter what, I think he was as terrified as me. We came in the first day to find out wich class we were supposed to be in and I just remebered thinking that if I don't get in the same class as my friend I was going to do whatever it took to be in the same class as him so I would atleast know someone and gladly we were chosen to the same class. Now afterwards I can just laugh about it, the class was wonderful, I don't think I could've landed in a better class. I got a lot of new friends, especially five of them including the one I knew before we started and they are the closest friends I have to this day except my two "brothers" despite the fact that we have gone our own paths in life. One of them has recently bought a house with her boyfriend a couple of miles away from here but still works here, one has moved to a bigger city to live with her boyfriend, one has recently moved up north for season work at a restaurant, one has a 10 month old baby still living here with the remaining of us. We don't see eachother much, atleast not all together but we try to keep in contact so we don't split up to much. I still meet some of my other classmates and it's nice to see what roads they've take after we graduated though we don't keep in contact as much it's allways nice to see them once in awhile.
Well that's it for now!
Be at peace
It's been a busy day..
Well since I don't have a job at the moment I try to come up with things I can do so that I don't walk alone at home and feel sorry for myself, so today I've cleaned most of my place (just some washing to do), went to the supermarket to buy some food and gave my mum a lift to work but now it's quiet and again I don't have anything to do so what more can I talk about?
Well I figured I could ease my heart a little bit more with some stuff that has been going on recently. Last year I met a lot of new friends and two of them especially i'm very glad that i've found, the two of them are dear friends themselves and I met them both the first time about 3 years ago when I was working as a guide here in my town. The reason why they came and visited was because they were friends with one of my co-workers and I barely remember anything from that time other than that they were quite..wierd is a stupid word but I can't find anything else right now so I'll go with that but in a very funny way. I didn't talk with them much after the summer but one of the girls got my msn but we rarely spoke and as time went on we went seperate ways I guess. It was in May last year that we for some reason started talking again and we met not so late after that and she was nice, good sense of humour, a little fuzzy as I rememberd her but not so that it was disturbing in any way. **** is a bit different than me, she loves to work out and if she doesn't do it she feels lazy and not the kind that sits by the computer. She is really an energetic person and I like that because that made me start thinking of how lazy I was and I started to think a little bit more on how I was living, not much but it was enough to change me to a better person I think so I owe her a lot. She is also the person that comes and visit you randomly and she has a very odd way to get inside when she comes to visit me, she climbs up on the balcony and knocks on the window, scared the hell out of me the first time she did it but now i'm rather used to it so when ever I hear rumbling outside I know it's **** climbing up the balcony. As a bonus she is also a fan of Scrubs, one of my favorite series. Just for you to realise how much "power" she had/has over me I can tell you that she made me go to town and see a free concert with a typical boyband, nothing I would have done myself in a million years! Well enough about that, one day we had been out for a walk and she said that she was going to visit a friend, so after a little bit of convincing I agreed to go with her and now afterwards i'm very glad that I did. **** and **** are very funny when they are together, it's like they have a connection on another level for others to understand but I guess that's how girls work when they are close friends. **** is a very fuzzy person, a lot more than **** and even if she's really tired she still has energy to spare for beeing the fuzzy person she is. **** and **** have been like angels from the sky to me the time I've known them, we share the good as well as the the bad times in our lives and support each other so that we don't go around sad about things that happens. Besides the fuzziness **** is a very kind person and just like most teenagers she has had a couple of rough times in life that has left it's trace on her and I feel so sorry for her because she is worth so much more. The funny thing about her is that she has so many "suprises" inside of her that she just out of the blue shows and in the beginning you just wondered what kind of person she really is, she never stops supriseing me and I guess it's quite fun because you never now when she'll suprise you again. That's it for now!
Be at peace
Well I figured I could ease my heart a little bit more with some stuff that has been going on recently. Last year I met a lot of new friends and two of them especially i'm very glad that i've found, the two of them are dear friends themselves and I met them both the first time about 3 years ago when I was working as a guide here in my town. The reason why they came and visited was because they were friends with one of my co-workers and I barely remember anything from that time other than that they were quite..wierd is a stupid word but I can't find anything else right now so I'll go with that but in a very funny way. I didn't talk with them much after the summer but one of the girls got my msn but we rarely spoke and as time went on we went seperate ways I guess. It was in May last year that we for some reason started talking again and we met not so late after that and she was nice, good sense of humour, a little fuzzy as I rememberd her but not so that it was disturbing in any way. **** is a bit different than me, she loves to work out and if she doesn't do it she feels lazy and not the kind that sits by the computer. She is really an energetic person and I like that because that made me start thinking of how lazy I was and I started to think a little bit more on how I was living, not much but it was enough to change me to a better person I think so I owe her a lot. She is also the person that comes and visit you randomly and she has a very odd way to get inside when she comes to visit me, she climbs up on the balcony and knocks on the window, scared the hell out of me the first time she did it but now i'm rather used to it so when ever I hear rumbling outside I know it's **** climbing up the balcony. As a bonus she is also a fan of Scrubs, one of my favorite series. Just for you to realise how much "power" she had/has over me I can tell you that she made me go to town and see a free concert with a typical boyband, nothing I would have done myself in a million years! Well enough about that, one day we had been out for a walk and she said that she was going to visit a friend, so after a little bit of convincing I agreed to go with her and now afterwards i'm very glad that I did. **** and **** are very funny when they are together, it's like they have a connection on another level for others to understand but I guess that's how girls work when they are close friends. **** is a very fuzzy person, a lot more than **** and even if she's really tired she still has energy to spare for beeing the fuzzy person she is. **** and **** have been like angels from the sky to me the time I've known them, we share the good as well as the the bad times in our lives and support each other so that we don't go around sad about things that happens. Besides the fuzziness **** is a very kind person and just like most teenagers she has had a couple of rough times in life that has left it's trace on her and I feel so sorry for her because she is worth so much more. The funny thing about her is that she has so many "suprises" inside of her that she just out of the blue shows and in the beginning you just wondered what kind of person she really is, she never stops supriseing me and I guess it's quite fun because you never now when she'll suprise you again. That's it for now!
Be at peace
